Sunday, September 30, 2007
i'm losing what i hold dear to.
i'm hurting from what i once tried to protect.
i'm making things happen from what i treasure.
i'm creating decisions from impulse.
i just want to cry.
thank you so much.
wishing;
18:54
Sunday, September 23, 2007
i so feel like cycling right now...
haha...
i came into blogger earlier...
wanted to write something...
but donno what to write...
haha...
so lost my interest...
anyway...
dad went off to hongkong today...
so it's 2.5 weeks without daddy around...
i went to check out the prices of some of the hard disk...
not sure if it's cheap or not...
haha...
but currently i'm using my dad's hard disk...
and i just realise that my laptop has 11 gb left only...
but i dont think i should transfer the stuff to his hard disk...
coz...
it's like a shared hard disk...
haha...
totally not fair if i put my stuff inside...
and he carries my stuff to work right???
haha...
i'm not making sense here...
lol...
anyway...
i still have the urge of going cycling....
what to do???
wishing;
20:36
Friday, September 21, 2007
had my lessons today at trcc dance studio...
scenography...
big word...
basically we're talking about making the script come to life...
the module deals with sets, props, costumes, lighting, makeup and hair...
quite an interesting day...
haha...
the best thing is...
zul promise us no powerpoint...
and no classrooms...
yay...
meaning...
we'll change our learning location every week...
haha...
though class was fun and all...
i can say that today just isnt my day...
i nearly went into 3 accidents in the evening...
was cycling just now...
like finally...
it's been 1 month since i last rode my bike...
i'm putting on extra weight here...
haha...
anyway...
i was on my way to school to meet mj...
and i was cycling across the road during the green mine shinning...
and there's this cab driver turning without even noticing me...
thank goodness i break in time...
if not...
you wont see me here anymore...
the second one wasnt that bad...
you know how on the pedestrian you should stick to one side???
so that the people from opposite direction could walk or people in a ruch could just cut from the other side???
well...
so happen the guy was on the right...
so i wanted to cut on the left...
then he suddenly went left...
i was like omg...
and i break immediately...
thank goodness neither of us got hurt...
after that...
i reaches school...
and i still have not received a call from mj...
so i guess she wasnt done..
took that time to explore woodlands a little...
and the dumb thing was...
i got chased by a dog...
like what the hell...
thank goodness the owner called it back...
if not i'll be cycling for my life...
this is so not my day...
but oh well...
the day is almost over...
only 1.5 hours left...
i shall just go to lala land after my games...
haha...
night...
wishing;
21:44
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
i havent been blogging for days...
wonder what's wrong???
well...
coz i'm lazy...
HAHA...
yan yan celebrated his big 19 on the first day of school...
he had 'yummy' sandwiches from joyce...
a little desert from yours truly...
we dint get a cake for him...
so we just decided to bake him cake...
we bake him with flour and water...
couldnt find eggs though x))
and we added some decorations too...
whip cream...
easy baking recipe x))
had it at the car park...
lol...
had dinner at vivo marche...
made yan yan do quite a number of dares...
didnt really prank him anymore then...
bought a cake for him from secret recipe...
chocolate indulgence...
creamy cake...
we ate half...
let yan yan bring home the other half...
after that the west and north people cabbed home...
school was great...
haha...
but then again it's the first few days right???
haha...
so far...
in the 3 lessons...
we did what i wanted to do...
though most of them are theory based now...
but it's a start...
haha...
wishing;
21:24
Saturday, September 15, 2007
depression
compression
attraction
distraction
working is hell
during your fight with depression
to you, nothing sells
when all you do is compression
the mind wonders
i agree, totally
i seem to ponder
but it's most likely a probably
let's just say
talking to me wasnt easy
and before i started, i pray
it would be busy
mood swings
people affected
money blings
i get distracted
okay that wasnt the best poem ever...
i think it sucks big time compared to the last one...
and the last one isnt even that great...
nevermind...
rasQ is playing with her toy...
she likes that carrot...
haha...
anyway...
sorry to people who i accidentally stepped on...
seriously sorry...
especially to pauline...
road to recovery aint easy
but i aint no slave to depression
the journey maybe messy
i aint gonna fall slave to some mere distraction
-a promise to zee-
wishing;
13:02
Thursday, September 13, 2007
i had a poem coming through just now...
but i lost it...
distracted by memories of nobody...
life is full of decisions
decisions of consequences dark
it's like mini missions
that would bound to leave a mark
i guess i miscalculated
of the consequences and regret
thought the hurt is discounted
when i'm mentally prepared
a mistake is what i made
from the path on which i took
but now it is being paid
with my heart left on a hook
i thought i could live
with the answers i may received
but now i wish i could leave
because it's all self decieved
alone is not what i want now
i'm thinking of disappearing
though i'm asking myself how
when i should be conquering
i could feel me breaking down
when all i am is alone
but it is back to an undisturbed pond
if i could just hold on to my stone
i guess i just need some time
to get everything in order
but now that there are little mine
that makes me ponder
this may not be the perfect piece of art
but it is written and filled with emotion
however, now i wished on my part
that i could erase it all with some potion
wishing;
22:09
hmmm...
went east coast yesterday...
had lunch with jin yan norman mj at eunos...
then took a bus...
started our biking at 130...
we biked for 2 hours before meeting joyce at mac...
after that went to the beach awhile...
lame with mj...
haha...
we wrote lots and lots of stuff on the sand...
* hint hint*
lol...
anyway...
we left east coast to meet joshua for dinner at bedok around 420..
we order lots of dishes and we share share...
haha...
anywa...
after that went kbox since they wanted to sing...
so i just tag along...
haha...
pop by ny for awhile before heading home...
haha...
my butt still hurts from yesterday...
as for today...
i've been at home...
haha...
no one wanna ask me out...
plus i need to be around for dinner...
so basically i'm stuck at home watching tv...
using the net...
play with rasQ...
talk on the phone...
smsing...
perhaps i made a wrong mistake...
perhaps i did the wrong thing...
perhaps...
wishing;
16:31
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
hmm...
it's almost 3 in the morning now...
rasQ is all curled up on my lap trying to sleep...
since i'm not in bed...
and she wants to sleep beside someone...
i just got back from supper about 45 minutes ago...
haha...
i wanted to eat...
and my mouth was itchy...
so asked if cass wanted supper...
since we were the only ones taking the transport...
and we were both okay with eating...
went plaza 888 which was nearby...
i hope it rains soon...
if it rains now...
chances are it's bright and shiny tomorrow...
which is good...
then i can get the biking and tanning done tomorrow...
haha...
work was kinda dull today...
not really a crowded day since it's a tuesday...
but the company was great...
so all in all...
i would say that it's satisfactory...
i should be getting to bed soon...
if i wanna have enough rest before east coast later...
hmmm...
but i cant really get some sleep now...
oh well...
i'll just get myself to sleep...
haha...
cross junction again???
or just me who has to decide???
wishing;
02:56
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
it's a bright and sunny day today...
hope tomorrow is the same as well...
then we can seriously have fun cycling and baking under the sun...
i seriously wanna cycle...
and get a tan...
anyway...
i woke up at 2 today...
slept a total of 12 hours...
a big wow for me...
i'm not really a sleep till late kind of person...
anyway...
going to work later...
starting at 7...
but i'm kinda lazy...
haha...
oh well...
this is what you get for suddenly not working that much...
LOL...
anyway...
rasQ keeps on wanting to play...
haha...
i think i'll keep her company for awhile...
before i go off i guess...
bring her for a walk too...
i'll be back later...
if there are interesting things...
to love and lost...
is better then to not have loved at all...
letting go is part of them all...
wishing;
15:32
Monday, September 10, 2007
went out today to catch 2 movies...
or in my case...
1...
haha...
no reservations rocks...
this is as rare as you can get...
lol...
went to ny first to see cs' sister at work...
then headed to cineleisure to meet joyce...
went to catch no reservations and 1408...
after that saw su and pauline at cine foodcourt since i needed to withdraw...
went pastamania for dinner...
then jalan jalan a little before going for desert at coffee club paragon...
chats and laughs...
questions and answers...
took the train home rather early...
and now i wanna talk to people...
but no one wants to chat with me...
jia yan where are you when i need you!!!
i wanna talk to someone...
no one wanna talk to me...
i shall call you then...
i'm sure you'd talk to me...
wishing;
22:12
hmmm...
nothing to do now...
jin yan dont wanna entertain me...
LOL...
i just started reading a book...
i havent touch a book in a damn long time...
and i just found out i have more then one reader...
LOL...
hmmm...
what's up with all my lols???
anyway the book is damn nice...
chicken soup for the teenage soul 2...
i know it's been out there for so long...
but i'm not the type who would just pick up a book to read for no reasons...
but i'd definitely agree that the book is great...
different stories from the world under different categories...
it's definitely worth taking up to read...
cs' sis got a job at ny...
i'm gonna pop by to see her at work tomorrow...
woohoo...
lol...
no reservation here i come!!!
sometimes time is only the one with answers...
patience is the key...
if you want things your way...
wishing;
00:24
Sunday, September 09, 2007
hmmm...
i'm staring at the photo of 'stitch'...
and aint he the best one i liked so far...
lol...
no offence to the others...
if they know who they are...
haha...
anyway...
that was just a random thought...
have quite a number of issues running through my head right now...
it's a wonder if i can even blog...
haha...
i'm also listening to some soothing music...
piano-ish ones...
not me playing though...
i cant play my music till i repair my i tunes...
friday was fun i guess...
haha...
i kinda push myself to my limits...
but it sure was fun...
and different in terms of view when you're tired...
really tired i mean...
haha...
but my entertainer on friday aka pauline left quite early...
haha...
so i was left there dying after 12...
lol...
oh well...
yesterday i was super high...
haha...
jade say must be because of the sandwich...
anyway...
jade left at 11!!!
pang seh me...
haha..
after that had quite s number of interesting conversations with su...
and i found out there are people who read my blog...
next time...
tag after reading!!!
haha...
happy happy happy...
oooo...
i just realise i have to bruises...
on my forearm...
though i'm not sure where they came from...
oh well...
su!!!
the conversation is still lingering in my mind!!!
and i have more things to ask!!!
have you wondered if you're playing...
or you're being played???
wishing;
14:05
Thursday, September 06, 2007
oreta awai tsubasa
kimi wa sukoshi aosugiru
sora ni tsukareta dake sa
mou dareka no tame janakute
jibun no tame ni waratte ii yo
izen toshite shinobiyoru kodoku
uchigawa ni tomaru rousoku
nigiwau ba ni koukana
shandaria to wa urahara ni
tarinai kotoba no kubomi
wo nanide umetaraiin darou
mou wakaranai yo
semete yume no naka de
jiyuu ni oyogetara
anna sora mo iranai no ni
kinou made no koto wo
nuritsubusanakutemo
asu ni mukaeru no ni
oreta awai tsubasa
kimi wa sukoshi aosugiru
sora ni tsukareta dake sa
mou dareka no tame janakute
jibun no tame ni waratte ii yo
ALONE-Aqua Timez
Your fragile, folded wings are just tired from the pure blue sky.
You don't have to force your smiles for anyone
It's okay to smile... for yourself.
That lonely feeling keeps creeping up on me
A single candle still burns inside
There shouldn't be an expensive chandelier in a wild place like this
Can I really bury it all with empty words?
I don't even know anymore...
As long as we can swim freely in our dreams
we won't need that sky anymore.
Even if you can't let go of the past
I'll still be there to meet you tomorrow
Your fragile, folded wings are just tired from the pure blue sky.
You don't have to force your smiles for anyone.
It's okay to smile... for yourself.
wishing;
15:39
went pulau tekong bmtc today...
went with norman joshua and mj...
a little different type of event from the past few days...
happy for the change...
especially if your day started out rotten...
had fun with them during the entire program, the before and after...
played games...
laughed my ass off...
time flew...
and worries forgotten...
till i reach back the island...
but forget about those...
it aint worth noting down...
since it only matters to me and not some people...
or vice versa...
and i'm too tired to bother...
rasQ is sleeping so peacefully on my pillow...
hard to imagine what a rotten day mine started out with...
sometimes i just wanna live my life...
but people have to put me down...
time and time again...
drop me lower and lower...
till i dont even bother to stand up anymore...
sometimes i just wish i could just disappear...
or maybe just go the next day...
wishing;
02:48
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
the sick one isnt that sick anymore today...
haha...
brought rasQ out to the vet this morning...
sterilization...
cabbed down...
she was so scared when she first reached the place...
but that's usual...
i have a cat for a dog...
haha
scaredy cat that is...
anyway...
she put on weight...
the last time i could remember...
she was only 2.8 kg...
now she's like 3.85 kg...
anyway...
left her there for her op after getting the okays for the vet...
pick up time was 3...
i had 4 hours to kill...
omg...
i walked from sunset way to clementi mrt...
haha...
ran through a few errands...
went to get my information updated at the bank...
changing my card...
and changing my thumbprint to signature...
wahahah...
i feel so grown up...
lol...
anyway...
mj came to accompany me...
thanks girl...
if it's not for you...
i would have died of boredom already...
she came before 1...
just in time...
i was almost done with my errands...
after that...
we checked out the area a little...
got some drinks and munchies...
before we decided...
it's way too bored here...
let's walk back to sunset way...
lol...
it was about time for us to go fetch rasQ anyway...
after that we cabbed to orchard...
haha...
with rasQ...
but she couldnt walk...
she was all drowsy for the op and drugs...
she kept on looking at us with those teary puppy eyes...
so cute...
kept on trying not to fall asleep...
now she's sleeping already...
i think i better switch off soon...
i shall accompany her in the living room tonight...
wishing;
01:52
Monday, September 03, 2007
so much for being wonderwoman...
haha...
didnt go to work today...
food poisoning -.-
i think i had too much junk yesterday...
i sound and look horrible...
feverish..
in need of toilet...
headache...
zZz...
nice combination...
i'm off milk and oily food...
omg...
so unfair...
i was on my way to work though i had a little stomach problem...
just 3 stops later i had the urge to puke...
so i stopped at yishun...
basically story of my life...
went to see doctor...
diagnosed with food poisoning...
i'm like stuck with porridge for the next few days -.-
ooo...
headache's coming back...
i'm going to lie down...
wishing;
17:15
Sunday, September 02, 2007
i am such a pig today...
all i did was wake up...
eat...
sleep...
haha...
i slept again after blogging...
woke up at 6...
haha...
went out to buy dinner...
lol...
with rasQ that is...
and after that...
it's been tv for me all the way...
haha...
accumulative sleeping...
lol...
anyway...
i'm doing full shift again tomorrow...
people dont ask me out tomorrow alright...
i wont be available...
haha...
anyway...
rasQ is sleeping again...
i shall go disturb her...
wahahhaha...
off to my tv again...
wishing;
21:08
yesterday jia yan came to fetch me from work...
haha...
hmm...
guess you can consider it this morning...
now with the dbs promotion...
the crowd was crazy...
but yesterday wasnt as crazy as the night before...
anyway...
hotside's wait side was a little messy yesterday...
worked with belinda amamde nadiah liza zai and weeling at hot side...
as usual...
haha...
ooo...
it started raining...
and i still say i suck at hosting...
haha...
aaron's last day before ns is today...
zen came back to work yesterday...
everyone is like leaving...
hmmm...
anyway...
after work...
jia yan came to fetch me...
took night rider home...
since she's staying at my place...
we went for even more supper at admiralty mac...
haha...
talked and laughed...
we woke up like about 1 hour ago...
by rasQ....
haha...
that girl jumped all over jia yan...
lol...
damn funnie...
wishing;
13:36
Saturday, September 01, 2007
hmmm...
look at the date...
i'm like panicking...
but i'm too lazy to do anything about it...
2 more months till pp deadline...
and i havent started on anything...
omg...
i so have to send out my emails fast...
pronto...
haha...
went to norman's this afternoon before work...
since i did promise to help...
and i didnt have anything else planned...
so might as well just go and help out...
his family is nice...
and funnie...
but too bad half the time i dont understand what they are saying...
hokkein...
unfair...
oh well...
work was well...
hectic...
hot side seems to be very messy through out...
both the kitchen and wait side...
i was tired and all from helping out norman...
and the fact that i didnt really sleep to my heart's content...
so i requested to be runner...
it kinda took me sometime to wake up...
haha...
oh well...
consequences...
anyway...
after 11 was wait side for me...
because all the wait siders left...
which was kinda funnie...
shane nadine and tyara left at 11...
which left me joshua jade and zai...
never have card promotions and last friday together...
crazy crowd...
oh well...
but it was fun...
different from usual...
but it was freaking difficult to hit target because of the promotion...
rasQ's sleepy already...
she kinda bang onto the side of my desk...
haha...
poor girl...
i think i seemed to be quite chatty on my blog tonight...
wonder why...
next week's schedule is out...
more then one person is gonna kill me...
oh well...
we only live once...
haha....
conversation- zee+ jy-> you're a sucker who falls hard when you do...
lol...
not gonna tell you people what it means...
alright...
tired...
off to bed...
night...
wishing;
04:21