Tuesday, June 27, 2006
fiona say my blog very sadistic...
haha...
n u guys say its emo...
here's wad i gotta say...
haf e time, wadeva i blog is bout my life...
happie memories r easily 4gotten...
only bitterness remains...
u can say my blog is both sadistic n emo...
coz i rather hav sum bitterness stored here...
2 ease my burden...
so say wad u guys wan...
i m beyond care...
n every1's asking bout my nick...
do i wanna tok bout it???
no...
i guess i was a fool...
2 think tat i can trust every1...
i think i learn my lesson...
being friends is 1 thing...
knowing people is another thing...
my life is smth else...
friends or not...
i m not letting anything out now...
i rather blurt everything out 2 a stranger...
losing trust is a damn easy task...
gaining it bac is another story...
but there's 1 thing i wanna make very clear...
there is only 2 things that can shattered me...
friends n family...
most of e time its frenz...
coz they r hu i need most in my life...
knowing hu my frenz r...
real frenz is important 2 me...
so damn u if u think u can hurt me...
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
i can assure u tat...
wishing;
21:41
Saturday, June 24, 2006
better 2day...
or atleast was...
nono....
went happie again...
den moody...
crappie....
should hav juz disappear....
exist not too substitute....
don think u even noe i exist....
or left....
or my bag still there...
my presence made no diff....
got a feeling i m juz gonna go bac 2 e usual...
meet them 4 lunch after their crap...
its much easier 2 live...
atleast they noe me....
n they noe better den 2 use me 2 replace ppl...
wadeva...
wondering wad my name means....
is it trying 2 sae tat my life is suppose 2 b rough???
is it taoking bout my char???
wadeva
wishing;
17:50
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
hmm...
feel like blogging....
but got nth 2 blog...
hahaz...
so sad...
nvm...
i show u smth...
20 june 06
it drizzled again on LifE
has it not been a while since we witness tat sight?
nothing much has changed since den
Life is but an uphill n downhill thingy
However this LifE is always down
why? i wanna ask
Even as I write this, Life drizzled
fighting against dear incidence
n wonder wad happens if LifE ends
would any1 even noe?
2nite e world seems cold
LifE is dead, lifeless, cold
If LifE was 2 end now
Would any1 noe bout it?
where were u when LifE is down?
where is e sunshine of LifE?
LifE is always surrounded by darkness
whr can light b found in LifE?
answers only sum of u noe
wishing;
20:48
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
wow...
i m still not use 2 waking up so early...
manage 2 make it 2 sch ytd n 2day...
was nearly late 2day coz of e rain...
n...
I NOE WHO TOOK MY CHARGER LE!!!
so pek chek lor...
i juz left it thr 4 while...
n it disappear...
my hp was nearly flat lor....
luckily i asked Michelle to bring charger 2day...
or my hp is so gonna die...
today i was nearly late 4 UT lor...
n 2day's lesson was boring la...
watching rhapsody in blue now...
n i m like wondering how can a ger throw herslef at sum1 like tat...
haiz...
anyway...
e ghost thingy was crap...
lucky i was slping...
hahaz....
n e maple kip on dcing me leh...
donno y...
haiz...
wishing;
19:35
Sunday, June 18, 2006
don feel like blogging ytd...
so i m dedicating this entry 2 ytd...
anyway...
ytd got performance...
n it sounded great...
wasnt paying attention during sermon...
hahaz....
don tell u wad i did....
den after tat sum pics taking session...
n no choir till 2 weeks later...
yay...
hahaz...
after tat went sum whr...
did nth but laming...
which was kinda fine wif me....
wasnt in e mood 4 anything either....
anyway....
I WAN CHANGE ME NICK LE!!!!
so e related 2 u buat apa???
so i went searching bout my name...
hahaz....
so happie!!!
ZOEE
original name- zoe
origin- greek
meaning- life
so i don wan vesper le...
hahaz...
anyway...
still thinking bout it...
but will still kip it as BabyV...
[DON ASK ME BOUT WAD I WAS TOKING BOUT AT E LAST ENTRY]
wishing;
11:26
Friday, June 16, 2006
tml's e day...
n i m not feeling ok...
havnt got e dumb skirt yet...
don feel like wearing e skirt i hav...
haiz...
my world is feel wif stuff...
is it good?
donno...
is it bad?
i m also not sure...
so many unwanted things...
so many things i want...
y does things u wan don come...
but everything u don wan comes like a river gushing down e mountain...
in no mood now...
can play e piece le...
but if i play as i m now...
it will sound dead...
n moody...
grave...
i m not tat generous...
neither m i tat charitable...
i cant hav e whole world giving me their prob...
i pick hu i can help...
n i m picky...
but whr is e person hu can help me?
hu is tat person?
i hav no idea...
i can c tat i m no longer myself...
even my writing hav changed acc 2 my mood...
ur no longer e 1 i like...
i like sum1 else...
u had ur chances...
n like mummie i waited...
mayb i assume wrongly...
but i no longer wanna hang by tat hope...
i will folo mummie n moved on...
n i found out hu e person is now...
n no1 will noe hu it is...
wishing;
13:22
Thursday, June 15, 2006
juz got bac from chalet....
shared cab wif meiling aizat n gerald...
e chalet was fun...
n tiring...
anyway...
lets start from e beginning...
met meiling in e morn...
went tpy 2 buy things...
den go her grandma's place 2 get e bbq stuff...
on e way thr it rain meow meow woof woof...
hahaz...
took cab 2 coasta sands...
n den relaxed...
sort of la...
go play cards...
jalan jalan...
makan...
play bola...
tidur....
hahaz....
2nd day went escape wif norman n gf aizat n gerald...
still no tan =.=
den start bbq...
aiyah...
i too tired 2 go into detail...
zZz...
i slpt 4 hours each day nia...
den 2day clean up den makan...
den here i m...
hahaz...
tired...
[so much happen wif out me... shall i disappear more?]
wishing;
14:09
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
yes...
if u looking at e time...
its during e wee hours...
n here i m blogging...
i juz got hm 30 min ago...
woke up around 10 2day...
had lunch at 12 wif dad n cymon...
den go shopping at orchard...
bought sum stuff...
den went off 2 meet e 4E peepz...
at marina bay mrt...
cs is crazy...
reach 3++...
zZz...
anyway...
most of them came...
yeah...
den we go makan...
makan...
n makan...
took photos...
play games....
n we went off...
went cine...
coz we wan play pool...
played against jr...
lost 2 him by default...
played against mummie...
also lost...
didnt manage 2 get is e black 8...
was suppose 2 b hm 10++
but i reach hm at 12...
hahaz...
i noe i m pro...
tml chalet...
so lil old me gonna disappear 4 while...
don miss me hor XD...
i better slp 1st...
long day tml...
gg shopping also...
4 bbq stuff..
hahaz...
wishing;
00:40
Sunday, June 11, 2006
today was interesting...
other den e rain of coz...
hahaz...
i feel so generous 2day...
finally able 2 donate....
hahaz...
donate blood =)
hahaz...
so fun lor...
it started wif a lot of trouble ...
but it kinda all paid off...
we took lots of photo...
n i got a pink bandage...
zZz...
anyway...
den it rain like meow meow n woof woof...
hahaz...
i went mum mum den go hm...
went hm use com 4 while...
den later i go orh orh...
so here i m watching x men 2 now...
so nice...
bobby so cute...
tml dad at hm i think...
go shopping...
i wan buy casual slippers...
cargo...
tops...
next week very e ma fan leh...
youth choir nidda perform...
n i m on e piano...
hopefully i don break down...
tml gg steamboat wif 4E05...
den gg chalet wif W16K06...
yeah...
relax n hav fun...
wishing;
20:18
Saturday, June 10, 2006
sumtimes i wonder if i m stupid....
no comments...
i juz wish i noe myself better...
n also 2 control myself better...
if u think i m wrong den i m sry...
i m too tired n worn 2 think 4 myself...
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
[untitled]
wishing;
22:28
Friday, June 09, 2006
smth is wrong wif me...
100% wrong wif me...
e flood gatets opened ytd...
i had 2 cheer myself up by playing crazy taxi...
haiz...
donno wads wrong wif me...
hope it wont happen again 2day...
anyway...
next week got steamboat n chalet...
i m so gonna turn round...
zZz...
wishing;
09:58
Thursday, June 08, 2006
u noe they say thr is a balance of good n bad things in e world???
i sae its bullshit...
pardon my language...
but i seem to be getting more crap...
i tot i can finally tok bout happie things...
n boom...
wth...
e cup overflowed last nite...
n yes i cried myself 2 slp...
thinking of y i didnt hav e guts...
wondering y i cant return 2 dust...
pondering on y u had 2 go...
thought of running away n suiside filled my head...
i cried while listening to bcoz of u...
i don understand y is it so diff...
y do i hav 2 pick...
y do i hav 2 b e eldest...
y do i hav 2 listen to all e crap...
sadness fills my heart if as i write this....
man...
i feel like crying again...
i m such a weakling...
unable to control my feelings...
unable to take things of my chest...
unable to stand on my own...
God...
juz take me away...
return me 2 dust...
end my misery...
wishing;
09:42
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
yoz...
bac from hanging out...
mummie bully me lor....
didnt go play wif me...
so sad...
cannot play pool against her...
haiz....
nvm ba...
i giv u time to lian...
haha...
we play next mon after steamboat...
=)...
2day i got trashed...
coz my skills went rusty...
my cutting, judgement n accuracy went down hill in juz 2 weeks...
zZz...
how could tat happen man...
anyway...
smth wrong wif e way i grip...
its giving me blisters...
haiz...
anyway....
jy ps us at around 530 i think...
e rest of us play 1 more game den we left...
went 4 dinner...
den go arcade...
hahaz...
i so long never play le...
anyway...
got trashed at daytona also...
got bump at e end of e race so i got 3rd place...
zZz...
den cs n fiona play DDR...
so fun...
after tat i came hm 2 check e list of ppl hu r gg 4 steamboat...
n i came here bloggy
wishing;
21:58
yoyoyo...
wassup...
hahaz...
i woke up early 2day man...
=) ok la...
not tat early...
it felt like eternity since i last blogged...
sunday got nth 2 tok bout ma...
den mon was like my 1st holz wifout my daddy...
so i spend e whole day at hm playing...
hahaz...
long time never do tat le...
anyway....
meeting e rest later for pool at around 230 at amk...
miss them so much....
both e gang n e pool table =)
not going archery 2day...
coz its ice breaker nia...
if training den i go...
hahaz...
anyway...
mummie say can beat me hands down leh...
i wan go c....
cs say rooting 4 us both XD...
hahaz....
yeah...
i come bac wif e results later...
oh yeah...
my bro say i should wear err... more feminine clothes...
zZz...
how many of u agree wif tat???
wishing;
09:01
Saturday, June 03, 2006
wads up wif ppl, blogs n passwords???
is it necessary 2 hav 1???
if u wanna blog bout it...
y bother hiding it???
might as well write in a diary instead...
anyway...
2day was an interesting day...
thompson church always tok bout family de...
donno y...
seems like e theme or smth...
anyway...
after tat i 'flew' hm...
2 get my dear hubby XD...
den took 105 to orchard...
tot i would b late...
haha...
I GOT LISTEN TO HIM LEH!!!
so happy XD...
I CANT BELIEVE THE 2 OF U LUFFED AT ME!!!
now i noe whr u learn all e luff at zoee stunts from...
i m not afraid ...
its juz diff 2 control wad u feel...
atleast when u donno wad u feel...
i wanna hate...
yet i donno if tats wad i feel...
i don wanna lie 2 myself...
wishing;
22:07
Friday, June 02, 2006
u noe wad???
i may hav a bad atitude...
but i don make my frenz wait...
n i m no fool....
u don bother 2 let me noe anything...
and i waited thr 4 20 whole minutes....
wtf...
even if i don go....
i m responsible enuff 2 let ppl noe....
wth...
i don care le....
i m so in no mood 4 this....
went home wif a headache...
slpt wifout bathing coz i m damn tired....
juz fell asleep on my bed...
den woke up wif e same headache....
n u ppl gav me hell...
piss me off summore right now...
n i will ensure u hav a place in hell....
my hell...
wishing;
08:29